I faced two giant fears and came out a new person: Women and Spiders
Being an Air Force brat, we moved a lot. I moved from school to school until we settled in Fresno, California. From 6th grade on, I was in the same school, with the same people, but was always considered the “new kid”. My first circle of friends damaged my faith in girls and women. Countless days of shattered confidence, inadequacies, and tear soaked pillows brought me to the conclusion that large groups of women were evil.
In many ways, I have allowed those early school years to cheat me out of deep relationships with friends. There have only been a very select few I have trusted with the real me.
This weekend at the Arkansas Women Bloggers conference changed my perception of large groups of women. I felt love, acceptance, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. I learned, lived, and laughed more than I thought possible.
I stayed in a cabin with one of my closest friends, Jeanetta, but was very nervous about all the empty beds. With each new person that entered, my fears starting dissipating.
Each of these beautiful ladies in our cabin felt like a gift to my soul. Each one of them touched and healed my faith in women in a way simple words can not express. Thank you to Liz, Vera, Alicia, & Katie for being authentically awesome!
With the new revelation of my cabin mates being such cool chicks, I went into the morning breakfast with a sense of security and renewed confidence. I sat at a table with ladies I didn’t know and really talked to them. (Y’all for me that’s kind of a big deal). I did the same thing at lunch. I mean, hello…I was meeting people!!!
I was taken from my comfortable, but lonely box, and put into a new, happy world of belonging and joy. In this life we need people. We are not meant to be on an island. We need community.
The second night we battled a nest of spiders and survived. (Yes an actual nest of hatching baby spiders..I know ewwwww!) We had to get a new cabin, lost a couple of roommates (who lived close enough to travel home), and gained a new roomie. Peggy entered as we were all jumping up and down, squealing, and squashing spiders. Bless her heart for sticking with us and not running for the hills!
Spiders are a HUGE phobia of mine. Well, spiders and all bugs in general. One time I threw a whole glass of red wine on my poor mom while trying to get away from a moth. But that’s a story for a different time.
It was funny facing both large fears on the same weekend. My hope is the next time I have to battle a nest of baby spiders, or any other fear, I have some rock solid gals by my side with shoes ready to stomp away the angst.
I’m excited to have found a renewed faith in women and the confirmation needed to step forward confidently and say “Hi I’m Cyndi!”. I still might squeal and scream at spiders…I mean there is only so much one can grow on a weekend…right?
My not so simple words to sum up a divine weekend? Be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone, embrace those around you, live in the moment, be yourself, and have no regrets. Your life is what you make it!